Wednesday, 12 October 2016

A lexicographical submission

Thatcher /θatʃə/ verb transitive.

Irrevocably damage or ruin,
Usually with the intention to fix or improve.

I tried to weed the garden
But I thatchered it
And pulled up all the roses.

I thought about fixing the laptop
But I am concerned that I will
Invalidate the warranty
And I am afraid that I might thatcher it.

All I meant to do was put up a picture
But the drill went through a wire
Leading to the light switch
And the resulting short circuit
Set the wall on fire
And I have thatchered the house.

Decades of dedicated thatchery
Have killed this region's hopes
So completely that they voted
To impoverish themselves
Further rather than give you
The satisfaction of winning.

I humbly submit my neologism
For your consideration.
The richness of the English lexicon
Deserves it.

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